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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012455">The Lake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/N16/pseuds/N16'>N16</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To Kill a Nightmare [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur doesn't act like an ass for once, Bromance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Lake of Avalon, Post-Magic Reveal, Promises, Sad Merlin, Secrets, Trust</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:53:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/N16/pseuds/N16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Something about the Lake of Avalon deeply upsets Merlin, and Arthur wants to know why.</p><p>(Although part of the To Kill a Nightmare universe, this story stands alone. All you really need to know is it's post-magic reveal.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gwen/Arthur (Mentioned), Merlin &amp; Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Freya (mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To Kill a Nightmare [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>465</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Lake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you to everyone who suggested ideas for <i>To Kill a Nightmare</i> one-shots! This one came up a few times. I hope you enjoy! (And please continue to let me know if you have other ideas!)</p><p>Although part of the TKaN universe, this story stands alone. All you really need to know is it's post-magic reveal.</p><p>I don't own Merlin.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>"Shut up, Gwaine."</p><p>"Look, all I'm saying is that you shouldn't plan any diplomatic visits like this for at least a few months after the wedding."</p><p>"I hear what you're saying," Arthur said through gritted teeth. "And I'm telling you to shut up."</p><p>"No quests either. As a newlywed, you want to make sure you're around to enjoy your new wife's—"</p><p>"Gwaine, I swear by the gods, if you finish that sentence, I will have you banished from every tavern in Camelot," Arthur interrupted, his scowl growing as he heard snickering behind him. He didn't mind the ribbing that had come with his engagement to Guinevere, but he absolutely would not tolerate any disrespect toward <em>her</em>.</p><p>"Keep in mind," Elyan added, his voice quieter but colder, "that if Arthur doesn't take care of you, I will."</p><p>"Fine, fine," Gwaine said lightly, laughter still audible in his voice. But after a minute or two, he said, "Do we need to talk through what's expected of you on the wedding night? Give you some pointers?"</p><p>"Gwaine, <em>please</em> shut up," Merlin's voice cut in before Arthur could retort. "When we get back to Camelot, you can go off and hide from him, but I don't have that luxury. And I really don't want to see what kind of mood he's in after another day and a half of this."</p><p>"I don't need you to defend me, Merlin," Arthur said, annoyed, and Merlin let out a huff.</p><p>"I wasn't defending you. If you'd been listening, you'd know I was defending <em>me</em>."</p><p>"All right," Leon broke in. "Enough. All of you. Arthur, we're all very excited for you and Guinevere. Truly, you couldn't have chosen a better queen."</p><p>The others murmured in agreement, and Merlin added, "She's too good for you, really." Arthur rolled his eyes and nodded his acceptance of the congratulations, unable to fight the small smile that crossed his face every time he thought about Guinevere.</p><p>But Gwaine could never keep his mouth shut for more than a few minutes, so before long he'd found a new topic of conversation.</p><p>"What about you, Elyan? Thinking about settling down?"</p><p>The knight spluttered for a moment before getting out, "What?"</p><p>"Oh, come on," Gwaine said, rolling his eyes. "You think you're sly, but we all know you've been seeing someone for months now."</p><p>Elyan apparently did think he was sly, because it took him a moment to pull himself together as he realized his secret wasn't so secret.</p><p>"It's not like that," he finally mumbled. "Not yet, at least. Maybe someday, but…" he sighed. "Now's not the right time. I can't really settle down when I'm gone so much. I want to actually be around when I have little ones running around."</p><p>Arthur looked over his shoulder. Maybe it was his own impending domesticity, but he felt a pang of sympathy. "Elyan, there's not much I can do about the patrols – those are just part of the job – but if you'd rather not go on as many quests—"</p><p>The knight barked out a laugh. "Are you kidding me? I'm a bloody knight of Camelot! I'll have plenty of time for the rest of it down the road."</p><p>The others laughed in agreement, and secretly Arthur felt relieved. Not only because he preferred having Elyan along on trips like these, but also because it told him that Elyan wasn't missing out on the love of his life. If he felt anything for this girl like what Arthur felt for Guinevere, he would have jumped at the offer.</p><p>"What about you, Merlin?" Gwaine asked good-naturedly. "Arthur sticks closer to the castle now that he's king. You could settle down, have a litter of kids."</p><p>Merlin snorted. "As long as she doesn't mind me spending every waking moment at Arthur's side. Besides, where do you think I would meet this woman? In Arthur's chambers? The armory? On the training fields, perhaps?"</p><p>"You spend time with other servants, don't you?" Leon asked, his tone curious. "Surely there's a nice girl or two there?"</p><p>"If by 'spend time with,' you mean 'wave at each other in the hallway,' then yes, Leon, I spend plenty of time with other servants. But it doesn't matter, because I have no interest in any of them."</p><p>The conversation moved from there to Leon's love life, but Arthur's thoughts dwelled on Merlin's words.</p><p>In all of Merlin's years as his servant, Arthur had never heard him mention a girl. He'd had that crush on Guinevere early on (which Arthur tried hard not to think about), and he'd seen the way Merlin used to look at Morgana. But since then…Merlin's gaze might linger on a pretty girl now and then, but Arthur had never seen him show interest in anyone in particular.</p><p>Was it truly because he didn't have time? Arthur had significantly lightened Merlin's duties as a servant since finding out about his magic, allowing Merlin time to focus on the magical protection that Camelot, and apparently Arthur, so desperately needed. But he knew Merlin still ran himself nearly into the ground. He was rarely far from Arthur's side, providing counsel and protection and yes, performing some duties as a servant since that was still technically his job. And he had a host of other responsibilities he took on in addition to that, like everything he did for Gaius.</p><p>Arthur felt something queasy in his stomach, and he feared it might be guilt. Merlin deserved the chance to meet his own Guinevere. And, once he found her, to actually see her once in a while.</p><p>"Do you see that?"</p><p>Leon's voice broke Arthur from his thoughts, and he looked to where Leon gestured.</p><p>"The light," Leon added, and Arthur spotted the bright sparkles reflecting through the trees.</p><p>"Water," Percival noted. "Is there a lake in these parts?"</p><p>"Not that I know of," Arthur said, but as they broke through the trees, it was apparent he was wrong. A beautiful lake lay before them, mountains in the distance. He frowned, unnerved. "A lake this size should be well documented, but I've never seen it on any maps."</p><p>He glanced over at the others, then did a double-take as he registered the look on Merlin's face. His friend was pale, his jaw tensed.</p><p>"Merlin?" Arthur asked, lowering his voice even though he knew the others would still hear. "You all right?"</p><p>He expected Merlin to snap out of it. To shake himself, give them all that smile that Arthur now knew was all-too-often fake, and assure them he was fine. And then, later, Arthur would drag the truth out of him.</p><p>But Merlin surprised him. His expression didn't change, and his eyes didn't move from the scene in front of him.</p><p>"The Lake of Avalon," he said quietly. "I didn't know it wasn't documented, but I'm not shocked. It's no ordinary lake."</p><p>"How so?" Percival asked curiously.</p><p>All Merlin said in reply was, "There's a great deal of magic here." Then he swung down from his horse and stepped up to the water, bending down to fill his waterskin.</p><p>"The water is safe to drink?" Arthur confirmed as they all dismounted, and he waited for Merlin to roll his eyes and point out that he was drinking it, wasn't he? But instead, his friend just nodded.</p><p>"Yes. There is both good and evil in the magic here, but the water is fine. Are we taking a break for a few minutes?"</p><p>"We can," Arthur said, surprised at the abrupt change in subject. "But the sun is setting, and I don't like the look of those clouds. There's a town nearby; I'd rather head there and see if we can find an inn for the night. I don't fancy sleeping in the rain if we don't have to."</p><p>Merlin nodded wordlessly and climbed back in the saddle. As he waited for the others to refill their water, his eyes stayed fixed on the lake, wandering back and forth across it as though searching for something beneath the surface.</p><p>In less than an hour, they'd found the town and secured rooms at a local tavern. Merlin did not speak a single word for the entire time. They found a table and ordered food, joking about the joys of getting a real meal on the road instead of stew again, but Merlin barely cracked a smile at their good-natured teasing. He didn't even seem to hear it. He seemed lost in his own mind, not making eye contact with anyone and picking at his food when it came. He did down his ale with more enthusiasm than usual, but he declined a refill.</p><p>By the time they all retreated to their shared rooms, Arthur was officially worried.</p><p>He knew what would come next. He would ask questions. Merlin would dodge them. Arthur would push. Merlin would get snippy. Arthur would remind him that he'd promised to never keep secrets from Arthur again, and Merlin would crack.</p><p>It was an exhausting routine, but the two of them had it down to an art.</p><p>But once again, Merlin surprised him, breaking the ice as soon as the door closed behind them.</p><p>"I need to talk to you," he said bluntly.</p><p>Arthur sat down on the bed nearest the door, leaning back against the wall and raising his eyebrows. "About the lake?"</p><p>Merlin blinked. "Not – well sort of, it – but…" His nonsense trailed off with a sigh. "I would like to renegotiate," he said finally, claiming the other bed and mirroring Arthur's posture.</p><p>Arthur frowned in confusion. Renegotiate? "Your salary?" he clarified. The pieces didn't seem to connect.</p><p>"My…?" Merlin looked as thrown by Arthur's response as Arthur had been by Merlin's. "No. I mean, yes, I would like to renegotiate that too at some point. Or negotiate it for the first time, to be more accurate. But that's not what I meant. I was hoping we could renegotiate our deal."</p><p>Arthur looked at him curiously. "Our deal?"</p><p>"About me not keeping secrets from you." Merlin went very still, his eyes serious and wary as he watched Arthur and waited.</p><p>The king's back stiffened, his eyes narrowing as he studied his servant and friend carefully. "You want permission to keep secrets from me again?" He tried to keep his tone even, but he couldn't help the incredulity in his voice.</p><p>"I kept a lot of secrets and lied to you for a long time," Merlin admitted softly. "I know that. And I willingly promised no more lies and no more secrets. I have never resented that promise, and I've never pushed back on it. I understood why you needed it. But Arthur…" he swallowed and looked away, and Arthur knew him well enough to see it was pain, not nerves, that forced him to pause. "It would be nice to have some privacy. You don't need to know <em>everything</em> about my life."</p><p>In the year since learning the truth about Merlin, Arthur had never once considered repealing the promise. He'd fully intended to hold Merlin to it for the rest of their lives. But he had to admit, Merlin had a point.</p><p>"Privacy," he repeated slowly. "But you would tell me anything having to do with magic, right?"</p><p>A very slight smile tipped one side of Merlin's mouth. "Arthur, pretty much everything in my life has <em>something</em> to do with magic in some way."</p><p>Arthur made a face, conceding the point. "All right then. You would tell me about anything involving <em>me</em>?"</p><p>The corner of his mouth tipped up just a little bit more. "Pretty much everything in my life has something to do with you in some way, too. Unfortunately." The smile fell, his face completely serious again. "But not everything is <em>about</em> you."</p><p>Arthur deliberated for a minute before answering. "That's a bold request," he pointed out, "considering you're still not very good at being honest with me, Merlin. There are things I genuinely <em>do</em> need to know, and as often as not, you force me to extract that information through excruciatingly long discussions in which I ask a hundred questions while you do your best to hide things without actually lying."</p><p>Merlin bit his lip and looked away, not bothering to argue. "Those aren't the kinds of things I'm talking about."</p><p>"But how do I know you and I will agree on what <em>those kinds of things</em> are?"</p><p>Merlin opened his mouth, but it took him a moment to get his next sentence out, his voice hitching slightly as he spoke. "You'll have to trust me."</p><p>The words hung between them, and the combination of nervousness and regret in Merlin's eyes told the king that his friend knew exactly how much he was asking for.</p><p>Trust him. Trust <em>Merlin</em>. Not just trust him with his life, or with the lives of the knights, or with the safety of Camelot; he'd trusted him with those things for some time now.</p><p>No, Merlin was asking Arthur to trust his <em>words</em>.</p><p>Arthur's mouth tightened as he considered the request. His first impulse was to say no. Flat-out, no discussion needed, <em>no</em>. Merlin was right – he had kept secrets and lied to Arthur <em>for years</em>.</p><p>But as Arthur thought about it, he had to admit, his desire to deny Merlin's request wasn't entirely born of distrust. Honestly, it was just as much about convenience. If he needed to know something, he could demand Merlin tell him. If Merlin refused or – as was more often the case – evaded, Arthur could invoke the promise to force him to answer, regardless of the subject. When all was said and done, he had very little power over the sorcerer in front of him. But he had the promise. And he held that promise over Merlin. Frequently.</p><p>"Anything having to do with Camelot's safety," Arthur said finally. "Anything that impacts the wellbeing of my people and my kingdom, including myself and my knights, and including <em>you</em>. You <em>must</em> tell me those things."</p><p>Merlin relaxed just slightly as he sensed victory. "I will."</p><p>"And no lying. Keeping something to yourself is one thing, but you absolutely will not lie to me or deceive me."</p><p>"Of course," Merlin agreed without hesitation.</p><p>"And Merlin," Arthur added, his voice hard, "if I agree to this, you have to promise to try harder to be upfront with me. You need to voluntarily tell me things instead of forcing me to push you into it."</p><p>Merlin gave him a single nod. "I understand."</p><p>"Give me your word." Arthur hesitated, then added, "A new promise. To replace the old one."</p><p>Merlin smiled, a sincere and soft smile, although Arthur noticed his eyes still seemed dark. "I give you my word, I will tell you anything and everything regarding the safety and wellbeing of you, your kingdom, and your people. I will not lie to you, and I will try harder to be more forthcoming."</p><p>Arthur nodded his acceptance and tried to ignore the uneasiness in his chest at the loss of power.</p><p>"Thank you, Arthur," Merlin said quietly. "I won't disappoint you."</p><p>Arthur forced back a chuckle. It felt strange to hear the most powerful sorcerer in the world worry about disappointing <em>him</em>. He was the one who feared disappointing Merlin. The man's faith in him defied all reason.</p><p>"Can I assume this is about you not wanting to tell me why that lake upset you so much?"</p><p>Merlin flipped around to lie down on the bed, eyes on the ceiling. "It's not just about that. But yes, that's why I brought it up."</p><p>Well, at least he hadn't lied and said he wasn't upset. Arthur scowled, wanting nothing more than to demand the truth from him, just as he had planned to do before they came upstairs.</p><p>But apparently it wasn't <em>about him</em>. So Arthur tried to hide his glare and climbed into bed.</p>
<hr/><p>For someone who successfully lied for so many years, it really seemed like Merlin should be sneakier. Honestly, the man had crept out of the castle dozens of times over the years without getting caught. But when he slipped out of their room that night, he was as stealthy as an elephant. His feet clomped across the floor, he stubbed his toe and cursed, and then it took him three tries to grab his boots, succeeding only in knocking them over and across the floor with the first two attempts. By the time he actually opened the door, Arthur was wide awake, staring into the darkness in exasperation.</p><p>He lay there for several minutes before he realized that since Merlin had grabbed his boots, he likely wasn't just stepping outside. He was actually going somewhere.</p><p>And Arthur knew, without a doubt, that he was going to the lake.</p><p>He thought on that for a few more minutes until the room lit up with a flash of lightning. Then he sat up and lit the candle – because he <em>wasn't</em> sneaking out – and got dressed. After all, if Merlin got lost in the rain or fell in a ditch, they'd have to spend the next day looking for him, which would get them back to Camelot late.</p><p>It was a full moon out, but the heavy clouds kept the light hidden. They also covered the stars, which made navigation more difficult. Arthur had to rely on memory to find his way back to the lake, and one or twice he was worried he'd gotten turned around.</p><p>Wouldn't it be great if Merlin made it back just fine, and the knights had to spend the next day looking for <em>him</em> instead? He'd never live it down.</p><p>But eventually he caught the glimmer of light reflecting off the water, and his shoulders relaxed as the lake came into view.</p><p>It took him a couple more minutes to locate Merlin sitting on the shore, and another ten minutes of leading his horse around the lake to actually reach him. He didn't try to approach subtly; he knew Merlin saw him coming.</p><p>But then he arrived, and he found he had no idea what to say.</p><p>Merlin didn't look up or turn around at his approach, his eyes moving across the water as they had that afternoon, his arms propped on his knees. Eventually Arthur cleared his throat.</p><p>"I saw the lightning," he said awkwardly. "I was worried you'd get caught in the rain."</p><p>"So the king came out to protect the warlock from the weather?" Merlin answered dryly, making Arthur scowl with embarrassment. He stood in silence for another awkward minute, wondering if he should just leave. He'd told Merlin he could have his privacy, after all. But it just seemed wrong, somehow, to leave him here like this.</p><p>"You can sit," Merlin said, tilting his head slightly to the ground next to him. Arthur was surprised by the weight of the relief as he realized he wouldn't have to leave his friend alone with whatever demons were haunting him.</p><p>He tied his horse beside Merlin's and took a seat on the ground. The silence was comfortable this time, both men watching the lake in front of them. The surface was choppy with the wind of the incoming storm, the pale moonlight bouncing off the moving water. After a few minutes, the skies opened, but Arthur only felt a few raindrops before Merlin's eyes flashed gold and a shimmering dome briefly appeared around them, then vanished from sight, water still streaming soundlessly down the sides of it.</p><p>Merlin broke the silence without warning.</p><p>"Her name was Freya."</p><p>Arthur was pretty sure Merlin had never mentioned a Freya to him before, nor did he believe he'd heard that name around the castle. Although he admittedly did not know the names of many servants, especially those he never interacted with directly.</p><p>He resisted the urge to prompt Merlin when he didn't immediately continue, letting the man move at his own pace.</p><p>"She was a druid. A bounty hunter found her and brought her to Camelot. The first time I saw her, she was locked in a cage in front of the Rising Sun. She was terrified, Arthur."</p><p>He heard Merlin's pain in that last sentence and could guess the next part of the story. Merlin hated to see anyone afraid or hurting.</p><p>"Looking at her…I knew the only things separating us were a few feet and a bit of luck. It wasn't a stretch at all to imagine that it was me in that cage. That it still could be me, one day. So I used my magic to free her. I did it right in front of her, so she saw it. And then I helped her hide." He smiled suddenly. "She had brown hair and brown eyes and pale skin, and she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. And she didn't think I was a freak for having magic. She liked it. And I could make her smile. I tried—" he let out an unexpected laugh. "I tried to show off for her. Stole some of your food and took it to her, and then told her I'd summon anything she wanted to go along with it. She asked for a strawberry, and I accidentally made a flower instead. She laughed at me." His voice turned soft. "She had a beautiful laugh."</p><p>Arthur could hear in his voice, see it in his smile. Once upon a time, Merlin had been in love.</p><p>"What happened to her?" he asked after a minute passed in silence, and it took another long moment for Merlin to speak again.</p><p>"She was cursed," he said, his voice turning rough. "It wasn't her fault." He swallowed and glanced at Arthur out of the corner of his eye before focusing on the ground by his feet. "Do you remember when the bastet attacked Camelot?"</p><p>Arthur had fought a number of monsters over the years, and it took a moment for his memory to pull up the image of the winged cat who'd terrorized the city. It had—</p><p>Gods. It had been a girl. He'd watched it transform, that last night. Before the monster took over, it had been a girl with dark hair and pale skin and—</p><p>"No," he whispered, his eyes fixing on Merlin's face in horror.</p><p>"It wasn't her fault," his friend said again. "She was cursed to kill. She would have kept killing. It wasn't her fault, but…" he wiped a cheek fiercely with the heel of his palm. "You had to protect Camelot. But I should have protected her, and I couldn't. We were going to run away together. Somewhere we could be safe, where no one would hunt either of us, but she couldn't fight the curse, and I couldn't heal her, and…" he broke off, covering his eyes with his hand as his shoulders shook.</p><p>Merlin had been in love. And Arthur had killed her.</p><p>"I brought her here," Merlin finally choked out, his eyes still covered. "I laid her to rest here."</p><p>Arthur swore. He didn't mean to. He meant to respond gently, compassionately, the way Guinevere would have. But he wasn't entirely sure what Guinevere would do, and the curse slipped out automatically.</p><p>"I'm sorry," he whispered. For reacting inappropriately. For Merlin's loss. For dealing the fatal blow. He didn't even know where he should start apologizing.</p><p>Merlin wiped his eyes and dropped his hand. "I think you would have liked each other," he said thickly. "You would have shared a great deal of laughter at my expense, I'm sure. And she and Gwen, they're both kind, but they've also both got steel underneath that softness. I think they would have been friends, although perhaps a formidable pair."</p><p>Arthur forced a small laugh because he felt like he was supposed to, but he didn't see anything humorous about it.</p><p>"Did you ever tell anyone?" he asked, and Merlin shook his head.</p><p>"Gaius figured out some of it. But no, I've never told anyone the whole story."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Arthur said again. "That you had to carry it alone."</p><p>Merlin nodded. After a long minute, he said, "I think that's why it was so hard. Carrying everything alone…that was just my normal. It always had been. And I had hope, just for a couple of days, that I wouldn't have to anymore. That I could spend the rest of my life with someone who knew me for who I really was, and who actually <em>loved</em> me, even though she saw the things that I thought made me most unlovable. And then when it was snatched away…that's the loneliest I've ever felt, I think."</p><p>Arthur typically resisted thinking about this. When he thought about Merlin's years of hiding, he preferred to think about how Merlin had lied to him and how unfair that was, or to think about the amazing things Merlin had done and how impressive that was.</p><p>He didn't like to think about how lonely and afraid Merlin had been. Trying to wrap his mind around it was almost too much to bear. But here, on the shore of the lake, it was impossible to push that knowledge aside like he normally did.</p><p>"Do you still feel alone?" he asked, regretting the question even as the words came out of his mouth, and praying Merlin would say no.</p><p>To his surprise, his friend smiled. "I wouldn't have told you about her if I did, Arthur."</p><p>Arthur let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "I know I'm not a druid girl who wants to run away with you, but for what it's worth, you have me. And I've seen you be pretty awful, and I still want you around."</p><p>Merlin tilted his head to the side and looked at Arthur. "You're not as pretty," he said seriously, making Arthur laugh, and Merlin allowed himself a small smile in response. It fell almost as soon as it appeared, though. "I loved her. Enough to run away from my destiny. Enough to risk everything. I know I only knew her for a few days, but I loved her."</p><p>"I'm glad you didn't leave," Arthur admitted. "But I'm sorry you didn't get the life you wanted. The family you wanted. You should have had that chance."</p><p>"It's not the path destiny carved for me, I guess," Merlin said. "But I've got you and Gwen and the knights. And I have Gaius and my mother. So I have family. And I love my family. And honestly, Arthur, I love the life I've found myself in now. I just…miss her."</p><p>Arthur couldn't think of anything to say to that, so he settled for gripping Merlin's shoulder, squeezing it briefly before letting go.</p><p>They stayed until the rain stopped. Then Merlin dropped the dome and stepped to the water's edge, touching his fingers to the lake gently and closing his eyes. After a moment, he pulled his hand back into a fist and stood, taking a shaky breath before turning his back on the lake.</p><p>He used magic to dry their saddles, then they made their way back to town, slipping back into their room just as the sun began to warm the horizon.</p><p>"Arthur," Merlin said as he toed off his boots, and Arthur tensed, recognizing the determined and stubborn tone in his friend's voice.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I'm going to do something you're not going to like, but you're just going to have to deal with it," he said grimly, and Arthur raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"You <em>do</em> know I'm the king, right?" he started to say, but he was cut off by two arms suddenly squeezing his shoulders tightly.</p><p>A hug.</p><p>Arthur gave a long-suffering sigh. "Gods, Merlin. You're such a girl."</p><p>But he hugged him back for just a moment instead of pushing him away.</p>
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